"It's definitely sucking..."

Does anyone else understand these ads? As all of you know, I am greatly enamored of television. That goes for advertisements as well. But some of this new stuff is just shit. There are three ads that I especially abhor and two of them belong to the nice folks over at Volkswagen.

Let's start with the VW ads:

Surely you have all seen these. I'm thinking of the ones that have nice folks chatting and then WHAM! their ass gets stomped by a clueless driver. This is not an advertisement. This is a scene that was cut from the last installment of Final Destination. My friend told me he liked the ad. Again, wrong answer. [View ad here]

One tap on one of these cars and I'm telling you, you better hope your insurance adjuster totals the car because it won't drive again (to be fair, it will putz around for a decade but won't be anything you will want to be seen in).

Tag Line: Safety Happens.
21st Amendment Review: Bullshit - absolute bullshit.

On top of that wonder, VW has the great ads with that crazed asshole shooting cars out of catapults and dropping 20' containers on them whilst screaming "Unpimping!" or other such intangibles.

"Time to umpimp the auto," he proclaims before flashing his fingers in a "VW" symbol that would make Sammy Sosa or a gang-banger proud. [See ad here and here]

Really, how many of us have purchased something because of its fine German engineering since 1989? I think it's a reasonable question.

Tag Line: German engineering in da' house, yeah.
21st Amendment Review: Bullshit - absolute bullshit.

Lastly, let's discuss the Gatorade ad with the US Soccer team set to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Is Gatorade trying to convince us that Soccer is the All-American Game? Is Gatorade confused by the words in that song, "and it's one, two, three strikes your out..."? I haven't played soccer for years, but I never remember striking out at the soccer game. Funny how the memory fails us. [View ad here]

Tag Line: It's a whole new ballgame. Is it in you?
21st Amendment Review: Bullshit - absolute bullshit.

Has anyone seen a good ad lately? Let me know...