(New and Improved) Deal or No Deal

I am a huge motor sports fan, but I have not yet blogged about NASCAR or Indy Car or Formula 1. And luckily for you, I'm not really going to do so today.

I was thinking about motor sports while watching Deal or No Deal on NBC tonight. I watch Deal or No Deal for the same reason novice race-goers watch motor races: the awful crashes.

I love it when those bastards on Deal or No Deal start off, apparently normal, and are transformed into disgusting greed mongers. They dance, they sing, they hug Howie Mandel. That's great. Then (my favorite part) they fall...

They keep pushing their luck. "NO DEAL!"

I really love the wives. They become frantic, crying and shit for their husbands to "please, for the love of God, take the damn deal!" And the husband will not take the deal as long as some asshole friend tells him not to (because men fall for that shit every time - oh, the peer pressure!).

It gets so bad, eventually that greedy bastard ends up with $1,750. At the end the wife claps her hands and says something like, "Don't worry, baby. This is all about the ride. I love you anyway." That's a damn lie. Okay, maybe she does love him, but she would have loved him a shitload more if he had taken the deal for $186,000 offered three minutes earlier.

Here's the new and improved Deal or No Deal. I propose the combination of Deal or No Deal with Divorce Court. That way when hubby screws up his formerly-loving wife can march him to the next studio where Judge Mablean can divide the marital estate and yell at the man for being such an ass. I suppose that would be a better project for Fox than NBC.